A neat little collection I started in the summer of 2002 is shirts with smart aleck sayings on them. My mom and mother-in-law expanded my collection by three shirts. The following is a list of the awesome sayings (in no particular order):
- Your village called. Their idiot is missing.
- Stupidity is not a crime, so you’re free to go.
- I see your problem. You’re stupid.
- You’re an inspiration to stupid people everywhere.
- If stupidity were a crime, you’d be on America’s Most Wanted.
- I’ll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter.
- I’d put something clever here, but you wouldn’t get it.
Now, I’m honestly not that arrogant, and no, I don’t think everyone is stupid. There are, however, enough idiots in the world so that these shirts provide me with a little subtle relief when there’s more stupidity than I can handle. Stupidity itself is strange in nature. Here are some of my observations about stupidity:
- Stupidity is normally distributed. I’ve been to quite a few places in the United States, and so far, I’ve encountered stupidity everywhere.
- Stupidity has nothing to do with intelligence. This is hard for a lot of people to accept, but I have met many brilliant people who were very stupid. I suppose this duality can exist because stupidity doesn’t always have to affect every aspect of a stupid person’s life. The one type of stupidity that sticks out the most is the one that involves someone not knowing when to refrain from speaking. Knowing when to clam up is the #1 most important social skill, but I’ve found that the lack of this knowledge breeds stupidity.
- To augment the preceding point, some people are Stupid All-Stars. Stupidity can affect some people so bad that they, as a whole, are truly stupid. If you don’t believe me, got to any local festival or state fair and walk around for about an hour. Stupid All-Stars somehow survive even though nothing they do makes sense.
- Stupidity can be funny. Stupidity should not always be hated. Some of the funniest things you will ever witness are a result of stupidity. America’s Funniest Home Videos was successful because it was a full-on parade of people doing stupid things.
- Everyone is stupid sometimes. If you have ever had a moment when you’ve asked yourself, "Why did I just do that?" after doing something that obviously had a much alternative, then you have been stupid. I have exhibited so much stupidity looking for a shorter way of doing something when in fact the old way I had always done it was much better.
I”ll probably expand on this list after I have reflected some more, and I’ll repost it up top if I do. Stay tuned!